How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

A woman crashes her car into a pole Thier family is suing for a hit and run

What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

What is a chair?

CORRECTION TO THE COMMENT BELOW! Its a WIN/WIN/WIN/WINWINWINWINWINWIN (WIN For at least 30 more minutes)/CUUUUM!/"SORE ASS WHINING CHILD Gonna grow into a slut SITUATION!" friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man The Anti-Christ: Do not thumb me down unless you want to feel the big burning hot spear of darkness, and you do not... You better don`t be or become a sore ass kid you allshole if you know what I am saying... Yeah! Thats right! You better fear me! Because the angrier you look... The more offended you become... The better you are starting to look...

Hitler, a Nazi, and a Jew walk into a bar. Only Hitler and the Nazi walk out. What happened to the Jew? He had to use the bathroom so he asked Hitler and his Nazi friend to wait in the car.

Help I'm being raped!

Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...