Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Caca.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Unfortually last night Andrew McNeil was studying soo hard that his head exploded and the next day at school, his friends found out and then cheered with laughter and happieness.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the boy sad? Because his family was raped and stripped of their possessions

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. what is the difference between a black man and a park bench A. a parkbench can support a family A black man cannot

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than losing a basketball game by 1 point? Dying of lukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +17

[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the frog say to the fence? chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops