Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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a group of teenagers are laughing at a boy around their age when on says "youre stupid" the boy then replies "i prefer the term Autistic"

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identical jokes get different votes.

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The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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What Do you say to an atheist after he sneezes? Bless you. Its just polite

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How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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