- Anti Joke

Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

Why was the priest lying still? Because his son shot him

What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.

The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

What's the difference between a duck?

why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

i stole a monkey from a man in a yellow hat his name is george now his name is i hate you

4 1/2

What did the biological child say to his adopted sister? We are both loved equally by our parents.

Q:Whats worst then finding a worm in your apple? A:Getting raped in the ass.

How do you get a clown to stop laughing? Throw an axe at it's face.

What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

Like this joke, bitch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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