What do you call a person mowing a lawn? A Mexican

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Worlds first anti joke.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

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A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

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What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

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Catholicism.

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

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Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

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whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

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Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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