-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

What has 4 legs and cant walk? A paralyzed dog

Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

Whats worse than a joke? This

Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

When I get aroused I get a solid snake

Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho Cheese! Anti Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Sally's Cheese

I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

What did the man say to the other man? Hi

A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

Roses are red violates are blue, matty is gay, sebby is too

What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...