What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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Question: You are in a bed between a hot chick and a gay guy, who do you turn your back to? Answer: False, I am to unattractive to find myself in bed with anybody else.

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

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An Italian leaves the mofia

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What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

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women's rights

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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Ok, I have a knock knock joke for ya.......you start.

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

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Two children are opening presents for Christmas. Daughter: "Look how many beautiful things I've got, look how much parents love me! And you got a Jo-Jo! Ha-ha!" Son*playing with Jo-Jo*: "Yeah, some of us have Jo-Jo, and some of us leuchemia. Ha-ha."

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anal seepage

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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