This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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What happened to Liam? He Died.

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Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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What do you call a Black person in a city with high crime rates? Whatever their name happens to be.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Two elephants are walking down the street. They have already killed 12 people including 11 children and their foster parent.

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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

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Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

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Whats worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Noticing the apple is oversized and finding half of a dead baby.

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Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

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How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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