How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

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what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

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What's the difference between victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and the others were raped then killed.

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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Q: How do you make babies cry? A: Throw a brick at it's face.

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Whats pink and slippery? A pink slipper.

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What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

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Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

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How do you spell "black" when you writing an african american history essay. B L A C K

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Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

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A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

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What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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How do you break up a fight between two blacks I have ADD and Im proud of it

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Who wants pizza crusts?

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Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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