What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

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do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

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Q: What do you say to someone who makes fun of you and is bigger than you? A: Nothing, you just punch him in the toe and run away

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knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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Two babies wonder off from their home. They die of starvation because there parents could not find them in time.

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Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

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This sentence is not humorous in any fashion whatsoever.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

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What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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Soo if ur on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Pickle.

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Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

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who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

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Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

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Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

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What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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