your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An Italian leaves the mofia

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Question: You are in a bed between a hot chick and a gay guy, who do you turn your back to? Answer: False, I am to unattractive to find myself in bed with anybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

thumb_up thumb_down -10

... Chan chan

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jewwy Jewstein

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Ok, I have a knock knock joke for ya.......you start.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

anal seepage

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops