Whats worse than sour milk? 911. Whats worse than 911? drinking sout milk!

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Whats the difference between a sandwhich and a dead baby? People eat sandwhiches.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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Christianity

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How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am couler-blind, and poetry is gay

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops