A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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TELL

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-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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What do you call A potato who is covered in red refrigerators and is known as a potato. Fallafal

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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