What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Well, he was dangerously fatigued from having weeped passionately the entire night in the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of 20 years and consequently finding out that his only daughter was in a tragic school bus accident.

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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Why did the Mexican cross the river? For an opportunity at a better life for himself and his loved ones.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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WUT SMELLS ? my poo

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

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Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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Q. whats piggy called A. Patrick gearthey

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Where's the dick??? east

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What happens if you play CS:GO? Well you loose alot of fucking money.

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8

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Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body in an accident? He bled to death.

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how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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