How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Tom and Ralph are In a verbal scuffle. Tom: your adopted ralf! Ralph: yes! Now I have lesser chance of high blood pressure!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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What is 1+1? It's 2!

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Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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