Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

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What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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yolo mother f-uckaaaa

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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What do you call a Black Man in the ocean? A scuba diver

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The joke below is absolute shit.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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