Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +39

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +37

There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

im at school

thumb_up thumb_down +37

where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

thumb_up thumb_down +33

It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

24

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +31

kevin kim

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops