If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Asians

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horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

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Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

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knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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whats better than an anti joke? a joke that you find funyer than an anti joke

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

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which one is easiest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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