Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

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what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

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whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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womens rights.

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WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Whats an Anti-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

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Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Why did you fall? Because of my buttcrack.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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what did the frog say to the fence? chicken

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I wonder where the hell Hitler is

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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What do u call a mixture of black people and asian people. Breakfast- Scrambled Eggs and Sausage

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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