Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

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knock knock. Who's there... Mormans

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops