'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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who ate all the food in zimbabwe? Nick bigg.. he later died of cancer and aids

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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Knock knock whos there? Underware Underware who? I underware my friends are

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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yo mumma is so smelly i can distictly smell her more than her perfume

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why did the chicken cross the road? because his mother was dieing of terminal cancer in the hospital across the street where the bar was. he was drinking because he is an alcoholic.

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my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

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An atheist dies and so will we all, eventually.

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They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

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One time i was in north philly and bought milk, then i came home and drank it.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a person of the jewish faith and a pizza is delicious food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops