There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

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What's Jewish and gay? Henry Shine

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Q: Why did the crazy man stare at the orange juice container? A: Because it started talking.

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What was the comment at the bottom of this anti joke? come up with a better anti joke

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Dear God, That wasn't cool. Seriously. From, Japan

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Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

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"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

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This statement is false.

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If someone tells you to look behind you do you? No

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anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

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What is my favorite color? How the heck should I know?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Clouds are white.

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Q:where did the little kid go? A:wait, before or after i killed him

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops