How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you know diarrhoea is genetic? It is a side effect of Polycystic Kidney Disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Liverpool City Football Club

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

thumb_up thumb_down -10

69

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what happens when a white guy goes to harlem he gets robbed by 5 to 10 black men

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A horse walks in a bar. The barman asks: "Why the long face?" The horse replies: I have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops