What is blue and rolls ? A blue, rolling thing.

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What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

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what did the bannana say to the milk carton. nothing bannanas cant talk and their on the other side of the store

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Where's Waldo? The cemetery, he died last week.

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True or fales? Eddie Izzard.

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What did the blind kid that couldn't talk get for Christmas Cancer

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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Here's another:

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Jumping out of an airplane is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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