A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are simple-minded creatures and perhaps there was some source of food on the other side.

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What did one manicotti say to the other manicotti? I doubt we'll ever know.

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what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

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Meow.

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Why did the little girl cross the road??? To get away from the strange man

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a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the Mortgage company. You haven't payed your loans. The man loses his house and becomes homeless.

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Your mama's so stupid that i wouldn't be surprised if you were to tell me that she didn't graduate high school.

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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An Irish, an English, a Chinese and a French are together in a boat. And it shows the diversity of our society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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