NAACP

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

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Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

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Why didn't the Hispanic man get elected? Because his policies were unpopular.

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So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? hypothermia.

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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Seven

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

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What is the delicate way to start talking about your penis? ...that wasn't it.

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What's black and blue and afraid of sex The twelve year Old boy in my trunk

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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A man walks into a bar. He suffered concussions later that night.

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Yock

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Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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