i have an apple. now suck my dick

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

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This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they already stole them all.

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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You’re so dumb that many individuals find your intelligence inferior.

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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all your base are belong to mark

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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trumpy trumpy trump

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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