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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a friend chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

What's black and white and roams the sea floor? A zebra.

Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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