How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

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If a man is alone in the woods and there is no one there to tell he's wrong is he right? If a tree falls on a women.... Before we tell the rest why was there a tree I the kitchen?

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two cannables walk in to McDonalds

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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What is long and black? The line at KFC

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Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

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Why didn't the girl paint her nails white? Because in this society, that would be considered racist.

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? When a child gets raped every night by its father.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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What did PSY say about his newest song? Probably something in Korean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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