i stole a monkey from a man in a yellow hat his name is george now his name is i hate you

Catholicism.

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Cause its dead!

Yo momma so fat you have aids

Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

You mothers so ghetto, you died.

How do you make a black man sad? Kill his entire family.

is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

If you peel my skin off, I won't cry, but you will. What am I? A human being with a high pain threshold.

What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

9/11

what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

This is Heading 1

What do you call this? A sentence in English.

How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead