Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

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What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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The Blonde Gets 100 % On Her Math Test

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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Q: What do you do when you see a man with no arms and no legs walking down the street? A: You wonder how the hell he is walking

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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whats blue, saggy, moldy and smelly? Will Nealis' Vagina

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Korean man, "Hi, I'm the President of North Korea!" Man, "Oh wow! What's your name?" Korean man, "Kim."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops