How do you make a car? You build it.

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A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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What happened to Timmy went to get ice cream from the ice cream truck? He was raped and never seen again, his family now mourns there loss

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What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

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How do u make a hockey player cry You Kill his entire family

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a gay jewish guy? Heblew.

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Q. You guys want to here a joke? Kids: Yeah! A. Women's rights

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Anti-Joke Delivery Service. Oh, just leave it by the door.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

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Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped six's mom.

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

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Whats the difference between a 100 dead babies and a ferrari? One is an automobile and the other is a tragic reminder that SIDS is a serious and deadly problem.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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why is your mother dead? because i killed him.

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Why did the man go to the hospital Because he was hurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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