What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

Catholicism.

I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

What do you call this? A sentence in English.

What's the worst way to die? Alone.

This is Heading 1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

How do you make a black man sad? Kill his entire family.

What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

My parents have an open marriage.