michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

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The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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Why are the new york knicks called the new york knicks.? no one gives a crap

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q: why didn't johnny do his homework? A:because johnny is dead

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Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

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A black guy walks into his bar. So he pays his tab and couldn't have been more coureious.

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What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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Hey guys I'm more of a Nets fan.

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Q. You guys want to here a joke? Kids: Yeah! A. Women's rights

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How do u make a hockey player cry You Kill his entire family

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What happened to Timmy went to get ice cream from the ice cream truck? He was raped and never seen again, his family now mourns there loss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops