- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

there was a blonde and abrunette and they both jumped off a bridge . who hit the bottom first? the brunette beacuase when the blonde was halfway down she had to walk back up and ask for directions

What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

Knock, Knock? Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are you crying? I'm not crying. Oh.

LOLLLLLL! Lakers? making me laugh so hard! LMAO

Why did the black guy cross the street? Because his master ordered him to

How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

Q. What's brown and circular? A. MEATBALLS!

How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off the cliff? ........………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………..................................................................... .

What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve.

Jesus steps out of a boat, and walks across the water to shore. He's such a show of. Only an attention whore would leave a boat and walk across water for no good reason.

Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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