What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

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Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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Alright then, call me sometime then.

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

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What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

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I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are you crying? I'm not crying. Oh.

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LOLLLLLL! Lakers? making me laugh so hard! LMAO

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

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What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

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Why did the black guy cross the street? Because his master ordered him to

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Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

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there was a blonde and abrunette and they both jumped off a bridge . who hit the bottom first? the brunette beacuase when the blonde was halfway down she had to walk back up and ask for directions

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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