What did the boy say to his friend? "Hello!"

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I saw 2 cannibals eating a clown. What did I do? Called the local police.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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Knock knock" my mom says not to talk to strangers!"

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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question:How do you call a Russian with Ak47. answer: Spetznaz

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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Wy did the man fall? A tree fell on his legs!

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What's the difference between a duck? both of it's legs are the same.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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