What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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Roses are red Jeffrey's a nigger A refrigerator is white But Jeffrey's not a refrigerator. He's a nigger.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

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So a blond is rowing a boat in the middle of the field. It turns out she was insane and was trying to escape from the sanitarium.

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What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Q: What did the German say to the Jew? A: Guten Tag.

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your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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Amazing

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What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

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There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

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why did the chicken go to the man? TO ask if he wants sex for money

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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