How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

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Q. Name six animals that live in the north pole A.Four polar-bears and two penguins

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What did one pare say to the other ... ... WE MAKE A GREAT PARE!!!

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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What did the black man get his mom for Mother's Day? Some jewelry and a very nice card.

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

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Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

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What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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How do you scare a Jew Hold your lighter up and blow out the flame and I've toward him real slowly and see how much drama he'll cause

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Jims family is having a picnic. Jim goes and gets his food. shortly after he drops his food. Jim is really sad and goes and gets more food. Jim is black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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