Lil' Johnny was happily swinging on the swings when all of a sudden...... ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> FLYING DAGGERS!!!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

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Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I'm a bad gardener.

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Guess what? I like trains.

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What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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whats white and looks like paper paper

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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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A white person at Harvard

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What is it called when you kill a gay man? Homocide

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Mormons having fun.

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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What's 9 + 10 19

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Two nuns in a bath, one nun says to the other "wears the soap?" the other confused replies "I am sure you mean 'where' is the soap" and hands her the soap.

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Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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