What is 1+1? It's 2!

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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Why did Sally cross the road? She didn't, she got hit by my car.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

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Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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What time is it? 20:45.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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