What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue whilst you reading this I just raped you

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

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Q: What's brown and looks like a weasel? A: A weasel.

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Do you know what african children do? They die of starvation.

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

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hello? knock knock. you called me, why are you saying knock knock?

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A dog just died in my neighborhood last week. It made me sad so I vandelized a church and got put into jail. That made me even MORE sad so I vandelized the jail. Morel of the story: This wasn't grammaticly a story. A story is not 3 sentences. --

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How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

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Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

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When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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