Q: On a plane, a black man does not grab a bag of peanuts, while everyone else does. Why? A: He has allergies.

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what did the elephant step on when he was running through the jungle? .... a coke machine.

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Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

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"Do you wanna hear a funny joke?" Yeah, Sure! "A funny joke."

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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I died shortly after writing this.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? The Holocaust is not an idea of the slightest humor at all. Millions of innocent civilians were slaughtered, millions more were sent to brutal concentration camps where they would fight for a crumb of food on the ground and get terribly punished for it, and live their whole lives in pain, torture, and starvation, millions more were sent to concentration camps then murdered, and millions of people, including children were left without family or anywhere to live. On top of that, their whole lives they were mistreated for their differences, and never got to live up to their dreams because of this horrifying event. It left the world in shock for years after, and scars of the event still live on in present-day families whose ancestors were harmed in the Holocaust. The terrible memory of it will never leave this Earth.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

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what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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