What do fish and dogs have in common they are both animals

What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

TRENT EGENLAUF IS a LITTLE BOY

Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

This is Heading 1

Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL