Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

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Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

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Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of the bar? He was riding a jack hammer

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What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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This is an anti-anti-joke.

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

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Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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