What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

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How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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Antijokes?! More like Antijakes!!!

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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what happened to Timmy when he fell off his bike? CANCER.

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I like my 40's like I like my women, in ABUNDANCE.

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What did the homeless man give his friends for Christmas? More AIDS.

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

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A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two solely on her hair color, proceeds to kill them with a single shot glass. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops