Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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roses are red violets are blue i use refrigerators to keep my food cool

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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That's what she didn't say

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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Where's my baby??

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What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

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This one time at band camp music was played.

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what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

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You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

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A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

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"You two form fours while I get the other one"

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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What is worse than The Holocaust? That's a difficult question to answer. The term "worse" is highly subjective. It really all depends on your own personal experiences, your ethnicity, and cultural background.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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