roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

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What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

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Do you know how to forget? No. Me either, I forgot.

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What is 5 brittish guys who can't sing and horrible music make .... one direction

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Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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Why did the turkey cross the road? His friend, the chicken, had just been hit by a passing car.

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Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

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Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy. You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy, who?

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Why doed Dorris suffer from incontinence? A weiner dog punctured her bladder.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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