What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

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Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the i pod she made the i pad!

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why was the little girl happy? because she found an icecream cone

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

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I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

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Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

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How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

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why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

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Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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Why was the teen boy shirtless? He was mauled by tigers.

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

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doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

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oooh look a banshee

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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