who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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Justin's humor

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

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You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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kieran scott has a huge back

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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What do you call a building full of black people Jail

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Q: what is long hard and full of seamen A: a submarine

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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