My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

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whats better than sex with a 12 year old?? nothing

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

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These two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've noticed it was there.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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Moby Stick, the Great White Twig

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What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

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just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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