A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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I killed someone today. :D

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

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If you posten bout Kony I feel bad for you son. Cause ive snached 99 children and you pst saved none jesse

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Why did that guy die? because the SS thought he was a jew.

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What happened to the white girl who dropped her ice cream? She bought another one.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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A caar pllus itno a graege. You are probably dyslexic.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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