How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo momma so fat, she has hypertension, diabetes, and a higher risk of heart disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than the Holocaust. A worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the black man so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -4

so three men walk into a bar and one is a priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

anti jokes r not funny, jk, thats a joke, i bet sum of u losers will like this cuz all of these jokes r horrible

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interupting doc- You have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why did Susan fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Q: Why did no one help her up? A: She had no friends Q: why was she at the play ground? A: Her parents were fighting again Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susan

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you hear the one about the HIV positive man that got rear-ended on the highway? The motorist behind him was distracted on his cell phone, and did not hit the breaks in time to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops