What do you call a blonde who likes to read? A bookworm.

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How long is a china man?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

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Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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the WNBA

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dick dick dick... frogs

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If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

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what is similar between a mexican and a bench? they are both illeageal. except the bench

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What's black and can't climb trees? A parking lot

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ahmadinejad. Well then get the **** away from my door!

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Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

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Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops