A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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What's black and red all over? Half a cat

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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question:How do you call a Russian with Ak47. answer: Spetznaz

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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Knock knock" my mom says not to talk to strangers!"

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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Whats worse than having sex with your hot cousin? Not having sex with your hot cousin...

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why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

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Yo momma so stupid, she's stupider than this joke.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

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What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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why did kyle and jake have sex? Because they were gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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