If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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Dusters blow stuff.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king's horses and all the king's men, went and made an omelette.

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, becuse if something is red all over it cannot be black nor white.

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aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

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What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

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Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

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Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

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How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

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Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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When making an Anti-Joke, you click the button that says: 'I have read and agree to the terms of service' What are you called? A Liar.

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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