Two giraffes walk into a bar, hit their heads, cracktheir skulls and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is long and hard that a bride gets on her wedding night? An erect penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call said black man flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the black man in the hotel so upset? I shit on his chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did sandy say to mr krabs nothing squirles are not smart enough to make a air tank and go under water

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops