How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

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My penis is big... not.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench A bench can support a family of five

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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Random Guy: "Oh god, why was I born with so much common sense?" God: "You must be mistaken, or else you wouldn't be asking me."

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

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I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road was clear of oncoming traffic.

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

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Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's who? Knock knock!

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops