What do you get when you stab a four year old in the chest 57 times A dead body

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

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What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

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where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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EVAN RAMSEY -CAD CLASS!

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never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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